Kee Hsiao Part 2

Another round of kee-hsiao-ness... :-P

This time, it started with my own Facebook shoutout.



And, while chatting with BK, he mentioned the "pizza dissection". And so, it went on... Quite a disgusting conversation though. LOL!

Kee Hsiao

It means gone crazy.

It all started with Wilson's Facebook shoutout:



Then, having stuck at work, I simply replied as above. As if the response was not fast enough, I used al-Terror's in-house messaging system to ask. And, somehow, our conversation went haywire.



A tiring day at work indeed. Sigh... I pray it'll be over soon.

The Last Message (天才与白痴)

I cannot tahan how funny this classic Cantonese song is (released in 1975), until I have to create a blog post for it. A big salute to Samuel Hui for his talent in blending his sense of humor into his own creativity. Yes... this song is 33 years old!!!

[ WARNING: The YouTube video might be cartoonish but it consists of uncensored images. View at your own risk!! ]
_____________________________________________________

天才与白痴
作曲： 许冠杰
作词： 许冠杰/黎彼得

[ Youtube video here. ]

呢个世界上
有精仔 有懵仔 有叻仔 散仔 赌仔 重有戆居仔
有衰仔 有好仔 反骨仔 癫仔 蠢仔 重弊过败家仔
细蚊仔 臭飞仔 招积仔 靓仔 打仔 乱咁出刀仔
问你点敢乱生仔

边个係天才 (天才)
边个係白痴 (白痴)
扮懵定蠢材
冇咁易会知 阿茂至知
天才与白痴 你痴定我痴
天才与白痴 冇咁易会知
天才与白……痴

呢个世界上
有冤鬼 有哗鬼 有奸鬼 赌鬼 盏鬼 重有咸湿鬼
有衰鬼 有烟鬼 摄青鬼 生鬼 撞鬼 撞着个冒失鬼
醉酒鬼 吊靴鬼 丑死鬼 假鬼 真鬼 乱咁鬼打鬼
问你究竟搞乜鬼

乜鬼係天才 (天才)
乜鬼係白痴 (白痴)
扮懵定蠢材
冇咁易会知 阿茂至知
天才与白痴 你痴定我痴
天才与白痴 冇咁易会知
天才与白……痴

呢个世界上
有坚嘢 有流嘢 有精嘢 喎嘢 喳嘢 重有大镬嘢
有衰嘢 有好嘢 有顺嘢 贵嘢 贱嘢 最划忌就瀨嘢
醒胃嘢 林婶嘢 正斗嘢 靓嘢 杰嘢 最爽就捞粗嘢
确係认真唔少嘢

乜嘢係天才 (天才)
乜嘢係白痴 (白痴)
扮懵定蠢材
冇咁易会知 阿茂至知
天才与白痴 你痴定我痴
天才与白痴 冇咁易会知
天才与白痴 天才与白痴 天才与白痴
_____________________________________________________

[SPOILER]

The English title for the movie of the same Chinese title (literally means "The Genius and The Idiot") is so named because of the Morse-code message that was embedded in the brain signal of a person who's already dead, hence the last message. Yes, it IS a spoiler, yet you're forewarned. Who ask you to read? :-P

Arsenal vs West Ham Utd

Nope. I am not a hardcore Arsenal fan, nor West Ham fan. I am NOT even a hardcore football fan! But I find this hilarious.

I was watching two friends watching the match. One is an Arsenal fan, and the other anti-Arsenal.

The Arsenal fan went like this:


And, the anti-Arsenal:


Result:
Arsenal 2 - West Ham Utd 0

P.S. I know the TV screen kinda betrays me. Just for the fun of it la... :-D

[Forwarded Mail] Financial News From Japan

Regret more bad financial news.

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

916 Movie Awards

The following are all written in Chinese. I got it from one of the recent forwarded emails. It was hilarious!! I tried to translate it, but due to the way it was put, and due to my half-past-six Chinese, I was not able to do it. Can someone help? LOL!

916 电影展

最佳电影： 《308之夜》
最佳导演： 安华 《916之梦》
最佳男主角： 伯拉 《梦中人》
最佳女主角： 郭素沁 《监狱风云之火箭十三妹》
最佳男配角： 阿末伊斯迈 《寄人篱下》
最佳女配角： 陈云清 《洗冤录3》
最佳新人： 赛夫 《股惑仔之后庭开花》
最具人气： 柏特拉 《光头博客》
最佳外国电影 / 最佳编剧 / 最佳特效 / 最佳剪接： 纳吉 《人肉叉烧包之蒙古碎尸》
最佳本土电影： 《林甘正传》
最佳成人电影： 《老蔡传奇之同一个房间》
最佳悬疑片： 《C+侦探之一切由失踪开始》
最佳恐怖片： 《午夜凶令之ISA》
最佳旅游宣传片： 《远走高飞之台湾考察团》
最佳电影主题曲： 行动党 《改变》
最佳服装设计： 黄燕燕 《透明睡衣》
终身成就奖： 马哈迪 《黑马王子之重出江湖》
评审团： 大马人民

P.S: Nope. I don't think I want to translate that, or else I will either be making a new movie called 《大伟蒙眼博客》, or become a "ke-le-fe" in the Best Horror Movie.

Too Hilarious Not To Share

Last week I encountered something hilarious, twice.

First, "the USB multi-funcfional"... haha... sounds weird? Yes, it was called such way. It was actually a multiple-channel (or to be spelt correctly, multi-functional) USB hub. The following pictures will make your stomach burst ("pecah perut" as labeled in the most recent Senario movie tag line). I did ROTFLMHO!! Wakakakakaka!


USB hub casing, front view


USB hub casing, back view, with description of usage

Due to my cell phone camera not able to auto-focus, the picture was a bit blur, so was the wording. So, I retyped as follows:

"When you are traveling,Do you bring the very more USB cable?Is it very trable?Now, you have the USB multi funcfional,the door is throw wide open to your."

??? ---- !!! ---- Wakakakakakaka!!!

Second, a banner I saw in Mayang Mall. It was located outside a job-hunting company, where they have this banner looking for Production Operators for certain companies. Read the wording carefully. The English translation was supposed to be "Production Operators, Female or Male". Because of forced simplicity in wordings and punctuation, I myself at the first glance interpreted it as: "Female / Male Producing Operators". Hmm... Mass production of human clones?? Muahahahahahahahahh!!!!

Unbelievable I's

I was working halfway on one fine Friday (yesterday lar), when my colleague sent me a hyperlink to one of TheStar news, which stated that MIMOS will be launching the Bolehland's basement priced laptop and PC, named i-Dola and Jean-i respectively. I read and re-read the news, and ended up having stomach muscle cramp laughing!

For those lazy to click, let me quote the news here. I hope I won't get charged for copyright, the website is FREE anyway!!

--Quote--

LUSAKA (Zambia): Three months from now, Malaysians will be able to buy the i-Dola laptop and Jean-i personal computer (PC) at basement prices.

Mimos is now ready to licence the production of the Malaysian computer codenamed Mak Cik, which it took two years to develop. The laptop and PC are named after the Prime Minister and his wife.

Science, Technology and Innovation Minister Datuk Dr Maximus Ongkili said the laptop would cost RM1,000, and the PC RM500.

“I have tested the computers and am happy with their performance,” said Dr Ongkili, who was here to attend the Global Southern Africa International Dialogue.

“They are wireless, Internet-based designs and need not be connected to fixed lines. To reduce costs, they do not have hard discs. You use a thumb drive instead.”

It is understood that the i-Dola and Jean-i will be as fast as computers using Intel Pentium 4 processors.

Dr Ongkili said that the King and Queen have already been presented with a pair of i-Dola laptops, which were previewed at the WCIT in Kuala Lumpur recently.

He added that several manufacturers were keen to make the computers, and were targeting selling about a million of them.

“The computers require broadband access and I have told the relevant bodies to speed up the roll-out of broadband coverage,” Dr Ongkili said.

He said the computers are targeted at students, businesses and housewives.

He revealed that Zambia and five other African nations have expressed interest in making the computer. In Zambia, laptops cost as much as US$3,000 (RM9,600).

--Unquote--

Here, I just want to talk about the thumb drive thing. Since there are many blog posts 'hantaming' the notion on some other aspects, I won't be embarking on their same aspects of other bloggers in due respect. Let me elaborate how stupid is the thumb drive idea. The next four paragraphs would be an elaboration on my 4-fold points of the stupidity of the above idea.

I am working in a semiconductor company - although the product I am working on is not of Flash technology, I know a bit here and there from my other fellow colleagues on how a Flash write-read operates. Also, I had obtained a Certificate degree in a computer systems and programming course when I was in my high school, so I can still remember how fast a RAM, magnetic storage devices and EEPROM/Flash can store data. From what I learnt, Flash is super slow as compared to magnetic storage device. Which means, thumb drive is a snail as compared to a HDD. If you don't believe me, try copying a video, say 20MB of size from a your HDD to a thumb drive, and then copying the same video from your HDD back to your HDD. See which one is faster!!

Also, a HDD in a system (PC or laptop) uses the IDE transmission cable (or rather, ATA cable if you feel that the term S-ATA is more familiar). An IDE cable is made of 40 parallel cables. So, naturally I would assume that the IDE transmission bus would consist of >1 data lines... which means 8 at least, perhaps 16 or 32. I know, I should have done more research on this before I compose, but I just want to make a quick comparison. Meanwhile, a USB (short for Universal Serial Bus) is a 4-connection bus. And guess how many data lines are there? Make a wild guess. See, it is named serial for a purpose - all data is serialized. So, the answer is one. One data line. So, in comparison, IDE is faster than USB.

Third, we are talking about a gigabyte or even terabyte storage device. In current market, it is easy to find a 1GB, 2GB, 4GB and 8GB thumb drives. 16GB is rare, yet it is possible that we start to hear people talking about it in near future. On the other hand, HDD capacity ranges from 80GB, 120GB, 160GB, 250GB, or even 750GB. Well, it sounds like in terms of capacity, thumb drive is out of the question. However, people do use thumb drive for two reasons - portability and convenience. If you want to store a PDF, or even a couple of folders of audio files, you would choose a thumb drive rather than a black box of mounted magnetic disks. On the other hand, if you want to install a software or game, say Warcraft III - do you use a 16GB thumb drive? No... You would no doubt install it in your C drive (HDD lar).

Lastly, price comparison. Just a quick assumption on local computer market (no research done). An 8GB thumb drive would cost, say, RM80. A 250GB HDD would cost, say, RM250. Well, these figures appear reasonable at this point of time, right? No? C'mon, just a few bucks difference. Now, let's do a simple calculation. RM80/8GB thumb drive, so, RM10/GB for a thumb drive. RM250/250GB HDD, so, RM1/GB for a HDD. Wow!!! See what I got? The storage of a thumb drive is relatively 10x more expensive than that of a HDD!!! Why? Simple - thumb drive storage is made of Flash, which is a semiconductor (you know, p-doped and n-doped silicon); while HDD is made of magnetic disks, which requires the technology of magnetic coating, and magnetic head reader. The latter technology is, no doubt, cheaper to-date.

And now what - the i-Dola and Jean-i are not using HDD, and instead we use thumb drive (Flash). Imagine, having our Operating System and all other necessary software in a Flash!! The system takes forever to boot up man!!! Also, do you really think that a Windows XP and Microsoft Office 2003 could fit into a 16GB thumb drive? Yes, in Dreamland, perhaps. Or, perhaps students, businesses, and housewives, which comprises of the market, would be advised to only use MSDOS and WordPerfect - oh my... you are asking people to time-travel back to 20 years ago!!! Sorry, doc, you are 20 years behind time!!! No wonder the code name Mak Cik (means auntie) came out.

And, what a bullshxt to say that thumb drive is used in order to save cost. Read above once again and find out yourself!

I don't want to talk about the Intel Pentium 4 microprocessor. Okay la, talk a bit. People are now talking about Intel Core 2 Duo, moron. And you are still comparing with Pentium 4. What la...

What a disgrace to our 'beloved' PM and First Lady, by naming a cheap and lame system after them! And what a dishonor to our late First Lady, as if those who are dead should be forgotten!!!

And oh, I forgot that I did mention that, to some Bolehlanders, Bolehland is Dreamland. Anyway, sorry la brader, this is not Dreamland. So wake up! As an ultimatum, I will not buy i-Dola or Jean-i. Try imposing difficulties in sales of ASUS, HP, Compaq, Dell and Acer - Malaysians will end up hogging Sim Lim Square!

Some other blog links:
http://www.chanlilian.net/2008/08/01/siapa-nak-beli-komputer-i-dola-dan-jean-i/
http://cry4freedom.fm/blog/2008/08/01/i-dola-and-jean-i/
http://mrbadak.com/2008/08/01/mimos-to-produce-cheap-computers/

Street Wars Aftermath

A continuation of my previous post (scroll down below or click here). One of my colleagues suggested posing like the characters in the infamous Hong Kong breakthrough movie Infernal Affairs 《無間道》. Another suggested a pose with black coats. Another suggested pistols and knives. One even suggested wearing our laboratory smocks, and let the temperature forcer (the elephant in this blog post) blow away the fringe of our smocks!

Anyway, I prefer keeping the previous picture its same way. The al-terrors are always unique - we should be proud of ourselves.

香港無間道
AL-TERROR 無間 道 走廊
To TKD guy, NO, we are not going to be J, K, L, etc... :-P

To Wiwi, in order to honor you, I will retain the wiwi picture. :-)

Facebook App: Street Wars

Yes. The Facebook Application's Street Wars, or 古惑仔 ("Goo Waak Jai" in Cantonese). An text-based game application that makes everyone addictive, especially amongst those Cantonese-speaking people. So, what the heck does it mean??

古惑仔 is a term for member of underground society, or literally - "Black Society" (黑社会), or in short, triad. The term was originated from none other than Hong Kong, and was made popular through the Hong Kong sextet saga Young And Dangerous (《古惑仔》 in Chinese, of course). It literally means a scheming guy - scheming being a characteristic necessary for survival in Hong Kong underworld.

As in Facebook, the Street Wars application/game is a role playing game, where a player can:
- perform tasks and gang-fight in order to gain experience, level (from 1 to 35), and money
- buy properties in order to generate income
- buy items to enhance attack and defense strength (some items need money for maintenance)
- invite other friends to join so that they can become part of a gang. The more people a player has, the stronger the player become during gang-fight
- bank in the money into an underground bank

Since gang-fight is one of the money earning channel, naturally, if two are involved in a gang-fight, the winner gets to snatch away 5% of the opponent's cash. Nevertheless, to safe guard the money lost from gang-fight challenge by someone stronger, a player can choose to bank in the cash at the expense of 10% of the amount being banked in - the banked money could not be plundered from gang-fights. Or, a player can go ahead and attack until the health level drops to red level (there are 4 levels: green - healthy, yellow - lightly injured, red - severely injured (less than 20 hit points), and purple - coma (0 hit points)), then the player is not allowed to attack or be attacked.

As a player soars in his level, more advanced tasks (that can generate more money at the expense of gang members and attack/defense items), attack-enhancement and defense-enhancement items will be unlocked. Also, a player can upgrade 3 attribute ticks (out of 5, which is max hit points (+10), max task strength (+1), max attack strength (+1), attack damage (+1), and defense damage (+1)) As such, many players will try to gain as much experience as possible to advance into higher and higher levels.

One thing that make the game very addictive the the rate of refreshment of attributes. The income generated from properties will be automatically updated every hour. So, right on the 0-th minute, many players will log in to the game to ensure their money is safe-guarded from being lost to gang-fights, either by spending their cash buying items or more properties or save into the bank, or whack other players until they themselves are in the red health zone.

In addition, other attributes like hit points, attack strength, and task strength are updated every 5 minute (5pts, 1pt, and 1pt respectively). So, for every tick of the clock, players will hog into the server for some action. Many times this causes the application to lag while loading, or worse, hang. I for once yesterday could not log in to Facebook properly because of that!!

This game is indeed very popular amongst Hongkie Facebook users. How do I know? Just by the players' names and nicknames in my list of people for gang-fight target. The names are very Hongkongish i.e. Liu, Lam, Tse, Leung, Tsang, etc... And the nicknames are typed in with traditional Chinese characters (only in Hong Kong and Taiwan where traditional Chinese characters are still being used). Yes... nicknames for players with Level 11 and above can be customized into what the player wants (Level 1 through 10 nicknames are pre-assigned). I myself am trying to imitate being a Hongkie, by nicknaming myself 榴蓮地炒蟹集團老鼎爺! Hahaha!!! Just wanna clarify that the phrase "fried crab" is not intended as a pun for some Cantonese vulgar words. :-P

Our gang who are now playing this game in Facebook has become a bit crazy. Just by their nicknames, I can tell they "short-short dei":
攞你命3000
蛊惑佬
你老豆
叫聲大飛哥
挡我者。。。死
笑面虎
龍威

We also become crazy while being in the game:

[ Hitting a female player repeatedly until she fell into "coma" ]

As well as outside the game:

[ 5 of us happen to wear black T-shirts, look like members of triads that normally wear black, so decided to pose for a "beautiful handsome" picture... LOL! ]
One of us wore a T-shirt with a big traditional Chinese character 龍, meaning "Dragon", a mythical creature amongst the Hong Kong society used to represent triads.
Yes. We are indeed addicted to it. Deeply addicted!!!

Hyperlink to the application: http://www.facebook.com/apps/application.php?id=17326627347&ref=mf

Smiley

What can you do to an empty plate?

Make yourself happy? :-D

Or serious? :-@

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Performed by Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke
Mary Poppins, 1964

As mentioned in my earlier post on long and short song titles.

Creative Christian Cards

Went to Baptist Book Store and found these…


I really like the first one. It was really funny with the Jesus Fish logo slightly changed to a Jonah in the whale’s belly. The second one, we bought for D’s birthday. ;-)

Also noticed of this vertical scroll. The Chinese characters mean “Give thanks to God”. Very creative in putting the cross across the character that means “God”.

Shun Kimura --> Takumi Reizei

Hey, Gnu, you're right!!! It seems to be random. I'm now Takumi Reizei... Hahahaha!!! Very close to Takumi Fujiwara!

Gnap, Pat, go and try out again! Maybe you'll get Ayumi Hamasaki, Kyoko Fukuda, Norika Fujiwara or Utada Hikaru!! LOL!

Your Japanese Name Is...

Takumi Reizei

What's your Japanese Name?

Shun Kimura

Your Japanese Name Is...

Shun Kimura

What's your Japanese Name?

Crazy @ Lunchtime

Just had one of my craziest lunch experiences today. I ordered myself a serving of chicken + "siow-ba" (roast pork) + "lap-cheong" (chinese sausage) rice. The chicken rice stall boss was having a hard time chopping the meat, serving, collecting money, and taking a breath, all by himself. He's too busy even to collect money from us. "Sii kor pek... lu jiak sing" (RM4.80, you eat first - in Penangite Hokkien dialect), he murmured.

So, it's time for us to leave the restaurant. We approached the stall to meet the ever-busy chicken-rice guy to pay our 'debt'. As guess what, the bowl where the money was kept was left unattended (sorry, I dun have picture of it). So, in front of him, I just chucked in my RM5 note and retrieved 20sen from it. Everyone else was doing the same. How hilarious! And amazingly, the chicken-rice guy so trusted us that he did not cared much of it! Amid the ever-horrific society of snatch thieves, robbers and rapists, he's leaving that bowl of cash alone!! I wonder how much he earned in the end. LOL!!

Next, came my stunt. How long is a Smart-for-2, you may ask? Here's the answer... erm... about 1.8 meters. How do I know? [see below]


And, how much guts did it take for you to go up a half-completed overhead bridge? Or, rather, an abandoned overhead bridge? [see below]

Sap

I learnt some funny meanings of SAP:
- Selalu Ada Problem
- Slow And Problematic
- Suck All Profits
- Stupid And Pathetic

Certain personnel should know better. Maybe can submit more 'fun ideas' here. :-P

Triad English

This is very funny. Must read it in Cantonese.

Triad English
黑社會 '英文'

I know your mouse
我識你老鼠

You call me how to come out and walk in future?
你叫我以後點出o黎行?

I give you some colour to see
我啤D顏色你睇

If you have enough ginger, put your horse to me.
如困你夠薑的話就放馬過o黎

Monsters of blowing water
吹水怪

Blow chicken
吹雞

I blow chicken to beat your group of guys
我吹雞打你班友

Face green green
面青青

You see road carefully
你小心睇路

Are you road?
你係唔係路

You count how old?
你算老幾

What water are you?
你係乜水?

You big me?
你大我?

Zebra chops people
班馬劈友

Do the world
做世界

Big tea rice
大茶飯

What ghost you talking?
你講乜鬼?

Cut my head and let you sit as a chair
批我個头比你當凳坐

I give you hair
我比條毛你

You think me not arrive?
你當我無到?

Wear grass
著草

I am wearing grass
我著緊草

I scared you got teeth
我驚你有牙

You don't have enough class to talk maths with me
你未夠班同我講數

What the spring do you do?
你做乜春

Measure / pound water
謗水

A dragon service
一條龍服務

Palm Sunday Paradox

April 8, 2007, Palm Sunday

It was Palm Sunset Youth Mass the night before. B was appointed to sing the responsorial psalm. After Mass and dinner B bunked overnight in A's house. Sunday morning came.

A: Since you sang the responsorial psalm yesterday, can you sing it today as well?
B: Huh?
A: Can la... since it's the same... I'm very busy (to compose again) la...
B: Err... okay...

[fast-forward one lithurgical year]

March 16, 2008, Palm Sunday

It was Palm Sunset Youth Mass the night before. D was appointed to compose, play, and sing the responsorial psalm. After Mass and dinner D bunked overnight in A's house. Sunday morning came.

A: Since you played the responsorial psalm yesterday, can you play it today as well?
D: Huh? No!!!!
A: Can la... since it's the same... I'm very busy (to compose again) la...
D: *grunt*... okay la...
_________________________________________________________

Moral: History repeats itself, especially if it originates from the same person / country.